Friday, June 07, 2002

Test of the Day

I Am A: Chaotic Good Elf Ranger Bard

Chaotic Good characters are independent types with a strong belief in the value of goodness. They have little use for governments and other forces of order, and will generally do their own things, without heed to such groups.

Elves are the eldest of all races, although they are generally a bit smaller than humans. They are generally well-cultured, artistic, easy-going, and because of their long lives, unconcerned with day-to-day activities that other races frequently concern themselves with. Elves are, effectively, immortal, although they can be killed. After a thousand years or so, they simply pass on to the next plane of existance.

Primary Class:
Rangers are the defenders of nature and the elements. They are in tune with the Earth, and work to keep it safe and healthy.

Secondary Class:
Bards are the entertainers. They sing, dance, and play instruments to make other people happy, and, frequently, make money. They also tend to dabble in magic a bit.

Solonor Thelandria is the Chaotic Good elven god of archery and the hunt. He is also known as the Keen Eye, the Great Archer, and the Forest Hunter. His followers respect nature, and only hunt when needed, but are quick to defend the forest from intruders. Their favorite weapon is the bow, and they tend to be extremely talented with it. Solonor Thelandria's symbol is an arrow with green fletchings.

Find out What D&D Character Are You?, courtesy ofNeppyMan (e-mail)

Love and Consequences

In the Forward Motion chat last night, one of the chatters was talking about his horrid brother-in-law and how much his whole family hates him. I really couldn't generate much sympathy for him because I'm in the same situation. Except I'm the one married to the supposedly horrid person that everyone in my family hates.

It's the truth. No one bothers to hide from me how they think Jeff is a loser and "beneath me" and is only gonna break my heart. Yep, like I'm some sort of sucker and Jeff is the best con-artist in the world. Of course, they pay no mind to the fact that they insult me when they insult Jeff, but then again, why the hell would they care about offending me? I'm just Crista, the little doormat that they've walked on for years.

I think my father is pissed because Jeff is the one person that I've ever met that doesn't think I'm weird for having my own opinions about things and doesn't think I'm being rebeliious just because I don't want to things the way my father has. My Dad can't stand that. He wants me to be subservient to him and still think he is God like I did when I was a little girl. I'm not a little girl anymore. I'm a woman and his decisions aren't mine.

The only reason my mother isn't that fond of Jeff is because he took me so far away from Indiana. I moved 1000 miles to be with him because I was suffocating in Indiana. Regardless of what my family thinks, they expect so much out of me and I can't live up to their standards. They all made sure that my every mistake was repeated throughout the family. That's hard to live with and deal with. My mother is less guilty than everyone else, but she still had that effect on me to a mild degree.

Both my sister and my supposed best friend claim that Jeff is beneath me and that I could do better. Obviously, they don't know Jeff right? I think I know what the problem is in their case and it almost shames me to say it. But, they're jealous. Cathi, my sister, has been stuck with a string of boyfriends that one exactly one thing from her. Her boyfriends don't give a damn about her thoughts and feelings. Jeff does about mine. And Fay is still waiting for some prince on a white horse to come rescue her. It galls her to know that I wasn't looking for a prince and I got one.

I wish they would look past their prejudices and realy see Jeff for what he really is. This is the only person that can make me laugh so hard that I cry. This is the only man who, while he might not care very much about some of the things I love, respects them because I love him. He's not much of a reader, but he respects my writing. On the other end, I don't like video games because they give me headaches, but I respect the fact that he loves them and wants to be a designer. Jeff and I have terrible arguments some times, but twenty minutes later, we are back snuggling and apologizing. That's mostly because we both have vicious tempers and don't hold grudges. Only things is that Jeff's fuse is about three times longer than mine. He's a volcano and I'm a bomb.

But my family will never see that. They won't see the man that I love because I think they can't accept that someone like him really, really loves me like he does. Half of the time, I think he's too good for me. He's the handsomest man I've ever seen. He's generous, kind, and the funniest person I've ever known. He has his faults, but they are the sort of things that I love about him, too. All my family sees is the slick talking hoodlum from the ghetto who could charm eskimoes into buying refrigerators.

I don't really know what the prupose of this rant was. I guess, I would just like people to TRY to understand what their family member sees in someone they don't like before they start announcing how much they hate them. You never realize how much stress it puts on someone when their family refuses too accept the person they love. After two years, I've mostly cut off ties with those who can't accept Jeff. He's part of me. Jeff hates that I did this, but I can't listen to anymore insults. I don't care what they think about Jeff to themselves, but they should keep to their damned self.

Wednesday, June 05, 2002

Just for Robert...

I figure he should get a kick outta this little test.

Which HP Kid Are You?

Test of the Day

This is terrifyingly accurate...

You have high standards for yourself, and try desperately to live up to them. But when you are unable to reach those goals, you fall into a deep depression. People see you as a brilliant person, yet inside, you are full of self-doubt and fear of failure. You need to set more reasonable goals.

Your song is: About to Crash

Which degree of inner turbulence are you?

This quiz was made by Dionae


I know, I know. It's been a few days since I've updated, but I've felt so run down lately that I can barely make it up the the two flights of stairs to my house, much less stay coherent enough to write a blog entry. I don't know why I'm so tired. Granted, I'm coming off of two months of six day work weeks, but that has slacked off. Now, I'm not sure what the problem is. Well, I take that back. I have a suspicion as to what the problem is and that is BAD NEWS. It means that things could get real weird in the next couple months.

Still waiting on the BN class list to be posted. I also called today about getting into a little tech school to learn a trade. I figure that until I make it as a writer, I don't want to be working at a grocery store all that time. Besides, I'm barely making enough money to feed a small family of mice. Bah. Bah. Bah.

To top it all off, our downstairs neighbors have taken the house washing machine on the one day of the week that I do laundry. I wish we could make up a schedule or something, but I never know when my days off are gonna be. Besides, I doubt anyone wants to stick to a schedule. That would be too easy.

Just in a bitchy, whiny mood today I guess. Doesn't help that I don't feel good. Here is to hoping that the next couple of days get better.

Sunday, June 02, 2002

Test of the Day

which children's storybook character are you?

this quiz was made by colleen


Well, my registration packet has been sent. Now it's just a matter of waiting for some news to come back. I figure I should know in about a week or so if I made it in as an active participant or not. And I know that until then, I'm going to be one great big jumble of nerves.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I really do want to be an active participant in this class more than anything. The nerves about Holly thinking I was a horrible writer were really more nerves that I wouldn't be accepted. I want to go to the next level in my writing. I can feel that professional publication is close, but I'm stuck at a plateau of "good, but not quite good enough." The rejections I'm receiving now are mostly personalized and encouraging. So, I wonder what I'm missing.

The more I examine myself and my writing, I find that I'm just not adding that extra oomf that most pro level work has. I'm really hoping that this class will help me find that. I almost want to call it voice, but even that word isn't correct. I've read the book that the class is based on and tried to apply the concepts and I've been writing better. Just not quite where I want.

I've already decided that even if I only make it as an auditor, I'm going to give everything I can to make this class work for me. But I want to be one of the six she chooses so bad. Here's to hoping.