Saturday, May 25, 2002

We have links!

And headers. Today was Blog Improvement Day.
Onward to a more pleasant post. I did massive cleaning today. Jeff and I have these little contests sometimes, called "who can let the house remain a pig sty the longest?" Eventually one of us breaks down and and cleans up (usually me). Well, today it was me again. I found one of the six Melanie Rawn books my mother bought for me at Christmas lying in a puddle of congealed ice cream. Yes, our house gets that bad. I told Jeff I was fed up and went on a three hour cleaning spree. Now, the house is spotless and I'm happy once again. Unfortunately, it made me miss the Writer's Think Tank tonight, but my clean house is definitely worth it. Now, all I need to do is tackle the Never-Ending Pile of Laundry(tm). It's almost as tall as I am and I'm nearly six feet tall!

I strong-armed Jeff into renting Willow tonight. If I had to pick a favorite movie of all time, that would be it. I remember watching it when I was 9 years old and absolutely falling in love with the movie. It was one of the few times my mother says she can remember me sitting still for more than ten minutes. Watching it tonight was like hanging out with an old friend again. And, even twelve years later, I still think Madmartigan is hot.

I directly attribute my love of fantasy to Willow. Of course I didn't pick up a fantasy book until about four years later, but I think that movie got me primed for it. Well, that and the Disney version of Alice in Wonderland. That was my favorite movie before I discovered Willow. The books that I think really opened me up to the fantasy genre and my reasons for loving it were Terry Brooks' The Wishsong of Shannara and the three books after that and Guy Gavriel Kay's Tigana. People rip on Terry Brooks and say what a horrible writer he is, but when you are fourteen years old and reading a fantasy books for the first time, his work is magic. Guy Gavriel Kay introduced me to adult fantasy and just intensified my love for the genre that much more.

Pfft, and my parents thought I was going to grow out of this. *g*
Annoying little incident today at Forward Motion. Seems that one of the moderators has resigned and left the community as a result of the little fiasco I wrote about in my May 23rd post. It is really irritating to me to see such a trivial matter being brought into the community and seeing it cause friction. I don't know what the ex-moderator's point was in dredging up all this garbage in the community, but obviously she wanted some extra attention or something. I didn't post anything on the matter, save for a short message in response to zette's thread about the purpose of the site.

The ex-moderator's post was rather inflamatory, to the point that I've pretty much lost all respect for the poster. Before she seemed to go AWOL from Forward Motion, I rather liked the voice she displayed in her posts and she had some very inciteful infromation to relay. But her little "good-bye" letter comparing the community to Nazi Germany was absolutely uncalled for. Last time I checked, we weren't tossing writers in a gas chamber and murdering thier kids. At least to my best knowledge.

And, sorry, but a PRIVATE writer's community and a PRIVATE weblog are not entitled to allow anything on their pages that they don't wish to be there. Is this to be considered blocking someone's right to free speech? I don't think so. Holly pays for the community. Sheila, as far as I know, pays for the premium service on her weblog. They are not entitled to allow someone to defame them on their own fucking page. There are two very good analogies I'll share from Forward Motion before I drop this subject. The community is like Holly's living room. We eat her food, we sit on her couches, we go through her library. Does this give us the right to wreck the place? The second analogy is that letting people post deliberately flame-inducing comments and not deleting them off the boards becausce you might violate thier right to free speech is like letting someone spray graffiti on your house and not washing it off for the same reason.

I'm done with this topic now. It utterly nauseates me.

Thursday, May 23, 2002

Oops. I forgot to post or write last night. Still kinda recovering from losing that position. In response to an email I sent the Human Resources lady, I guess the postion was closed before they could hire anyone. So, I guess this means that I don't suck as much as I thought I did. Nevertheless, the job hunt continues. I spent most of the night searching through job ads and sending my resume out, hence the writing never happened.

I watched From Hell, the movie about Jack the Ripper starring Johnny Depp and Heather Graham. It was all right. Nothing really to be stunned about. I predicted the ending about halfway through the movie. The strange thing is, the most interesting scenes in the movie, at least for me, occurred when the good Inspector was 'chasing the dragon'. Normally, I'm kind of disgusted with drug use in movies, because a lot of it seems gratitutous and unneeded. In this, I rather liked how the drug use was staged. It had a purpose in the film.

On another note, I read posted by Crista at

Wednesday, May 22, 2002

Bah. Bah. Bah. Well, the Dream Job fell through. I would love to say that I'm not disappointed, but I am. After I found out, I immediately looked into a few more job leads and have some phone calls to make tomorrow morning. Here is to hoping that something good will come out of this. On a side note, I am beginning to LOVE seeing the phrase 'no experience necessary' in a classified ad. *g*

I wrote around 1200 words last night. They were pretty good and I'm loving the tension between my two leads. Hopefully, if I write a little tonight, it will take the stress off of my mind. I can't say that getting a new job will take ALL f the stress out my life, but it will help a whole hell of a lot.

The happy side of this situation is that I can possibly attend Holly Lisle's Breakout Novel Course (if I get in) since, as it looks now, I don't have any commitments that would make me unable to attend. So, the next week or so will be me getting my submission packet together. Hopefully something good will come out of this.

Tuesday, May 21, 2002

I wrote 2093 unexpected words last night and I got some good stuff. I'm a little afraid of my villain becoming too sympathetic. I'm glad she doesn't feel very cliched yet, but I don't want this villain to be another one that survives the end of the book. If there will be a book 2, she can't survive.

Writing is going well. I checked the job website today and the job has been taken down. I hope that they will at least contact me, even if I didn't get the job. I've been waiting for three weeks now and I don't want to go on waiting without end for them to at least let me know that I didn't get it. I'm pretty nervous. I want out of my current situation quite badly and I'm not sure what I'm going to do if I don't get this job. I mean, let's be honest here. Who wants a 21 year old with a high school education and part of a college education, but only has summer jobs as experience? Not many people if my myriad applications and interviews prove anything.

I just don't understand how anyone expects me to get experience if no one is willing to give me a chance. I do good work. I work hard. I just wish one of these employers would take a risk and let me prove myself. I don't want to work at a grocery store for the rest of my life. Granted, I don't want to work in a corporate cubbyhole either, but at least that would pay me enough to get a place that isn't falling apart and let me have a diet more varied that boxed macaroni and cheese and crackers. Whoever said being poor was noble obviously never poor. Being poor doesn't make you a saint. It just makes you mean and desperate.

I don't mean to whine. I hate whining. Just sometimes the frustration gets to be too much. I try to vent it to Jeff, but I think I just make him feel like he's responsible for our situation at this point. I don't tell my father because he'll just say 'I told you so' and I can't tell my mother because she'll feel guilty. I quit college after my freshman year to take care of her when she got sick. She didn't have anyone else. I put my life on hold to help her and I don't regret my decision. Ever. But I don't want her to feel like I blame her in anyway because my life isn't so great now.

If the job doesn't come through, I'll just figure out something. My parents used to tell me that of all their children (there were four of us) that they could imagine me being the one most likely to make it in the world because I was good at adapting. Yes, Catherine is prettier than I am and could make it just by her face alone and my littlest sister Barbara is far more intelligent that I am, but I'm clever. And that's what I'm trying to hold on to now. Even if I don't get the job, I WILL be clever enough to get another one.

But, just once, I wish that God would give me a break. Hasn't done much of that lately.

Sunday, May 19, 2002

It's been a few days since I posted OR written. But I have a very good excuse. It is Jeff's birthday weekend and I wanted to devote some time to him. Yes, and this is a fact that may send many of you gasping and crying out in protest, I find some things much more important than my writing. Jeff is one of them. He's my best friend and lover and he needed time from me. I've had so much fun with for the past couple days. We went to see Episode II on Wednesday and I bought him the Nintendo GameCube he's been wanting since Christmas. So, he's happy and now so am I.

As for Episode II. Hmm. I guess I'll just be blunt. I didn't like it very much. Granted, I'm not a big fan of the entire series and so I don't have the same attachment that many people do to the movies. I've pretty much taken each at face value as a movie and not as a part of a beloved series. The CG was... distracting at best. Irritating most of the time. The characters were flat and the romance subplot was laughable at best. I mean, why did these two kids get together? Most of the time, it felt like they were just going through the motions because SOMEONE has to be Luke and Leia's parents. On a side note: I really liked Hayden Christensen in the part of Anakin. He has the most magnetic eyes...

Like I said, you guys can take my review with a grain of salt, if you like. Because, like I said, I'm not really a fan of the series. Jeff is and he really loved the movie.

I think I should try to write tonight. Break is over, time to get back to the grindstone.